slightly outside of typical

(Warning: If you are a girly-girl, a squeamish girl, a "posh" girl...don't read this.)

I have come to a solid decision. I want a toilet in my mansion in Heaven.
The reason: because I realized, that to me, the toilet is one of the greatest symbols of love.
Wait! Hear me out just a little while, and let me explain. You may just agree with me in the end, and then Heaven will be full of "toilet orders", they'll have to start rethinking their mansion designs.
Some people think of "love" as a beautiful bouquet of red roses, a glittering diamond ring, a house, a car, china...a dog (now what's with that? "A dog is like having a child..." Yeah, my *).
Now while all these things are nice and good and pretty and fairy-tale-ish and giggly and warm and fuzzy and what-have-you...it's sorta surface love. Scratch it a little, and find out what kinda love it really is. Will it really last? Could it last through nose-picking, burping, farting? What about taking a crap on the toilet, smell and all? Toss out the red roses, the nice clothes and dinner dates, the pretty stuff and the frills. Get down to the nitty gritty.
I know many girls who would scream, use a bunch of typical noises like "Eeewwww", "Ugh"...and in some cases, maybe a full entire word like, "Groooooss!!!" and start hiding away their faces like a no see - no hear - no speak monkey.
The less-than-pretty details can be skipped...but suffice it to say, the surface has been not just scratched, but completely removed, in my case. And while I may not be able to see all the way down to the deep, deep bottom of love's ocean floor, I know as much as to want a toilet in my mansion in Heaven. --A toilet to remind me of just how great a human's capacity for love is, and how it loves everything: the good and the bad, the ugly and beautiful, the sad and the happy, the angering and the endearing, the easy and the frustrating, the tears and the laughs, the smiles and the scowls, the sensual aromas and the naturally less-than-pleasant ones, the cool hobbies and the terribly irritating habits...love conquers all, love loves all.

P.S. Besides, it's a wonderful place to be in when you're past all the "yucky and gross" stuff. Your relationship will be so much more comfortable, relaxed and enjoyable.

(Note to the girly-girls, the squeamish girls, the "posh" girls...I told you so.)