the devil is an earthworm

See, it goes like this:

"The serpent" mucked up on a very large scale, and brought a curse upon his entire house and his seed. The curse is that we will be their enemy, we will try to kill them (specifically by a good ol' whack on their heads), and they, in turn, will try to attack and kill us (specifically by a sneaky bite at our heels). Gen. 3:15
But, the "original serpent" himself, he gets no such privileges. He'd like to think he does, so he keeps us thinking that he's still a "snake"...and at times, tries to protray himself as really cool, as in the case of pet pythons, huge anacondas, kingly king cobra, rattling rattle snakes, and what have you. But truth be told (according to the gospel of Anna), he's just a gross little squirmy earth worm, who loves darkness cuz his deeds were evil. He crawls on his belly and eats dust all the days of his life. Gen. 3:14
Now, see, God really pulled a fast one on ol' Mr. Wormy Squirmy here. The devil's plan was to destroy the beautiful garden and man, but then he got busted. So God demotes him to an earthworm, and curses the rest of his family and relatives and relative's relatives, and so on and so forth. Not only did God demote him to worm status, but made it so that Mr. Snake-turned-Worm's very existence replenishes the earth. So Mr. Wanna-be Earth-Destroyer, now has no choice but to do the earth some great good...it's either that, or his own death, since earth is the ONLY things he eats.
So, ashamed of this, he crawls himself deep into the ground, hoping no one will notice him and his life-long doom. --Especially not some crazy kids looking for fish bait, or worse yet, some worm to throw into a jar with a couple leaves (he only eats dust, remember?) and no poked holes in the jar's lid. Oh, woe is his lot.

Yes, my friends, the devil is an earthworm.